Training

We leave for Hong Kong today and apparently Wyatt's pretty excited. So excited that he couldn't sleep past 6 am. So, as two sleepy parents who still need to pack and get organized, we decided we should start teaching Wyatt how to pull his own weight.

He's not quite sure what to think, and I'm pretty sure he might fall over if we put anything in there, but hey. You've got to start somewhere.

UNCLE!

Murphy,
Is it not enough to make me frustrated, late for taking care of Isaac and causing me to rip my skirt while dealing with the brake issue?

Because really, when my husband calls me from Carolyn's house and tells me all he had to do was pull, turn and release the brake and everything's fine now, it's about as annoying as it gets.

I have no beef with you anymore. Please let me be.

Respectfully,
Stephanie

Hey Murphy,

I get it. You're in charge, not me. I'm very sorry to have presumed otherwise.

I guess you knew I only had 30 minutes and another two stops to make on my errands when you decided my car should break. And you must have a sense of humor - or maybe even pity? - since you actually made sure the car would still run and only made it so the parking brake wouldn't release. Thanks for at least making sure Carolyn was still home so she could take me to our other car.

I'm sorry to have challenged you. I give.

Sincerely,
Stephanie

Dear Mr. Murphy,

I don't know who you are or why you made up that silly law, but it's starting to get the best of me!

You see, I finally committed and ordered a carseat for Wyatt a few weeks ago, but the company wouldn't take my credit card information until they'd sent me a shipping quote (insert grumbles about living overseas and paying through. the. nose. - like $48 through my nose - for shipping on every little thing). All I had to do was call them during their business hours and provide my credit card number. Do you know how long it took me to do that? Yes, quite a while. Because calling them during their business hours requires me to remember it at the very end of my day or the very moment we wake up, both of which are times my brain is incredibly sluggish and showing its age. And twice I had false-starts; their answering service picked up and could only take a message. Obviously I wasn't leaving that information with an answering service.

But last night, I was smart. I called and provided all they needed to send that seat our way. Yay for me! I was rather proud of myself for finally crossing that off my perpetual to-do list.

My pride came to an end this afternoon, when another carseat-shopping friend sent me an email telling me where I could find my carseat of choice with free shipping.

For the love of pete, Mr. Murphy. Your law sucks and I wish it would quit loitering in my life!

Sincerely,
S. Rock

P.S. I will forgive you if it turns out tonight's attempt to cancel that order actually worked. But since we're on rather shaky ground, you and I, how about if you make it up to me by keeping the weather nice in Hong Kong this weekend? Thanks! You're the best.

Vice Games 2007

Bat pass complete! The weather totally didn't cooperate - as in, sunny all morning, raining buckets from about 2:30 until about 6:30 - so we scrambled to rearrange the living room and put down an extra piece of carpet to make the house ready for everyone to be inside. Luckily the weather cleared enough later for us to proceed as planned. Every bat pass has a theme and ours was the Vice Games, a spoof on the Olympics. We had four competitive events: an opening ceremony torch run (keeping your torch lit in windy, rainy weather is a trick!), beach volleyball (a relay involving a beach mat, towel, magazine, volleyball and a drink - fastest to set it up wins)This one got a little competitive!baseball (classic dizzy-izzy) and shooting . Yes, those are super-soakers on the left and targets dressed in ponchos and goggles on the right. I totally didn't think anyone would actually play this game, but Jeff insisted they would and he was right. Teams were even arguing about who got to play. And I'd like to point out our commander's wife, who arrived from another dinner just in time to take a turn (with Jeff's help). Doesn't she look awfully glamorous with her shiny tank top and her super-soaker? That's why I love our squadron - because of people like this!

We also had a couple of exhibition sports - boxing, courtesy of a rented 20'x20' inflatable boxing ring, archery (a.k.a. darts) and table tennis (a.k.a. beer pong) - but none of those ever got rolling. It's probably for the best.

Meanwhile, the Rifes watched Wyatt for us and he and Isaac had their own party, complete with tub-time and everything!

Check out those handsome boys!

17 December.

For all of you out there who have asked, "do you have dates yet?", the answer now is yes. Yes we do. And they're sooner than we anticipated. Which is fine.

It's a little funny since I was just telling a friend yesterday that we were kind of looking forward to a calm Christmas here just before leaving, and since I had it in my head we could go to Singapore for Thanksgiving. Hmmm. How is it that I haven't learned that the Air Force system of assignments, moves, TDYs and pretty much everything else they do makes no sense? Yep. It's official. I'm not a quick study. Not with my hair and not with this.

BUT. There is great relief in just having dates since they are, after all, at the whims of the Air Force and could've come much later. So it's all good. And yes, family, we're excited to say that we'll be spending the holidays with you. And no, we don't know our exact plans so please try to understand that we're still figuring this out and we promise, promise, promise to tell you everything as we get it sorted out.

So, you have about 3 months to submit your final Japan shopping lists. As do I, so I'm going to be a busy girl!

P.S. Bat Pass is tomorrow night. We've never hosted a party this big before and despite the whooshy sound of money rushing out of our bank account, it's really fun! I hope the weather holds (Jeff keeps coming up with all of these disaster plans as if he knows it's going to rain, but yet claims he has nothing to base it on. And, quite frankly, if it's so windy it blows out our tiki torches - that's his latest what-if - then I think we're already screwed. It's kind of not about the tiki torches!) and I hope to get lots of pictures to post right here for your viewing pleasure. Stay tuned...

Daddy's Home

Need I say more?

Well, no.

But I will. Because I want to tell you that yes, we got to meet the jets as they landed and yes, Wyatt and I were standing in front of Jeff's flow-through as he pulled in and yes, Wyatt recognized his daddy. When Jeff waved from the cockpit, I asked, "who is that?" and I got a very quiet, "a-da" in response.

They haven't missed a beat. Life is pretty good in these parts.

The World According To Wyatt

If Wyatt could give you rules for life, I suspect these would be his top 40 hits:

1. If it's open, you must close it.

2. If it's closed and you want it opened, grunt and do the sign for please until someone helps you.

3. If a container has a lid, you must hold the lid.

4. If you can get the lid and the container, that's a bonus! Make sure to put the lid on, take the lid off, put the lid on, take the lid off, repeat, repeat for at least 10 minutes.

5. If you know where your mommy keeps your sippy cups, make sure to open that drawer and pull them out onto the floor at least twice a day. Also, rule #4 applies, so make sure to take advantage of the situation you've created. AND you should pretend to drink from each cup after it's assembled.

6. If you hear a dishwasher open, drop whatever you're doing and book it to the kitchen.

7. If you get to the dishwasher while it's still open, grab all your spoons and play with them.

8. When your mommy says, "it's time to put your spoons away", shake your head no and move quickly in the opposite direction.

9. When you have to put the spoons back - because you always do - at least act excited because guess what? Now rule #1 applies and you get to help close the dishwasher.

10. If your house seems quiet, just open the door to the shoe cabinet and bang it against the metal panel under the front window. Cool noise!

11. When your mommy tells you to close the cabinet door and leave it closed, move on to the front door. Just stand and bang both hands against it. Also a cool noise!

12. If you want to read a specific book, it's best to pull them all off the bookshelf and spread them out so you can find the one you're looking for.

13. If you haven't seen the dog for awhile, she's probably resting in her bed and needs you to chase her a little.

14. Grass is kind of prickly and squishy at the same time - walk on it with trepidation or not at all. Sometimes it's better to stick to the sidewalk.

15. Afternoon naps are for sissies. Take a long morning one and if your mom won't give you that, do NOT reward her by taking a long afternoon one. Do not waiver on this policy! She will eventually come around to your way of doing things.

16. Keep the parents guessing re: food. If you eat a lot of something one day, make sure to turn up your nose and spit it out the next few times it's offered.

17. When you get in your Cozy Coupe, make sure you close the door and kick back to relax a little; that's what it's for.

18. Memorize your favorite books so you can do the actions a page before your parents read about them.

19. If your mom is laying on the floor stretching, you should move as fast as you can to tackle her. She'll really like it, I swear.

20. If you see your stroller being taken outside, don't risk it! Plant yourself by the door and whine while signing 'please' until you get strapped in.

21. Moms need practice putting shoes on you, so make sure to take your shoes off as soon as you're not walking on them. This means that if you walk to the car, you should start kicking off your shoes while you're getting strapped into your seat.

22. If you go to your friend's house to play, you should ignore the part where your mom tells you to say hi to your friend and head straight for their toys. You never know when you're going to have to leave and you have to maximize your time with the cool stuff.

23. When your mom asks if you're ready for your bath, head for the stairs because the bath is up there.

24.When you're getting your diaper changed, make sure you try to escape at least twice (preferably just after you've made your mom think you're actually going to stay still. As if you'd ever do that!).

25. Water always tastes better out of your parents' cup than it does out of your own. Fight for a sip of the good stuff every time you see it.

26. You should identify every fan and every light you see. Like this: "a dan! a dan!" or "a dy! a dy!" Make sure you are pointing, are loud and are vigorous and ensure everyone around you acknowledges the fan or the light. Don't ever let your guard down - you must point out every single one. Please note: the same fan from a different perspective might look like a different fan; therefore, you must identify it twice!

27. If you see a ball or anything that resembles a ball (this includes balloons, signs, placards, etc.) you must loudly identify these as well. Like this: "a dah! a dah!" and don't stop until your mom acknowledges you. If you see a whole container of balls (like they have at Toys'R'Us), don't let any of them go unidentified! Make sure you point at every single one.

28. If your mom sings the first three notes of, "If You're Happy and You Know It", go ahead and start clapping. That comes next anyway.

29. If you hear clapping on tv, you should join in.

30. If you see someone you know - or anyone else, for that matter - getting in their car and leaving, you should wave. It's just the polite thing to do.

31. Brown Bear, Brown Bear cannot be read too many times in one sitting. If your parent acts like it's the end, fake a cry and give the sign for 'please' until they start over at the beginning.

32. If you want your mom to pick you up, just attach yourself to her legs - even if she's walking! She will eventually have to pick you up. Also, if she's standing somewhere and you can't get in front of her, start by running into her legs from behind and then worm your way between her legs and the cabinets, for instance, so that she has to look you in the eye when she says she's not picking you up right now. At least that will make her feel more guilty. And a lot of times you end up getting to sit on the counter.

33. When in doubt, point, grunt or sign 'please'. These three together are very powerful. Use them often!

34. When your mom tells you to say, "thank you", just laugh but definitely don't sign or say anything!

35. If you pass a dog bowl that has either food or water in it, you should definitely put your hands in.

36. If you take food out of the dog's bowl and get caught, just pretend like you're hand-feeding the dog. If she's not nearby, you'll have to go looking for her with the food in your hands! She'll really appreciate your effort, though.

37. The dog really prefers your food. Make sure you "accidentally" feed her a portion of every meal. And cover yourself by saying, "uh oh" after you do it. And sometimes (because you don't want the dog to think life's too easy) you should make her stand on her hind legs to get whatever it is you're offering.

38. If you see a camera pointing at you, smile.

39. Identify every dog you see. Even if you see little ones all over your pajamas, make sure to point out every single one.

40. When your diaper is off, you need to use the opportunity to make sure your 'goods' are still there. You just never know.

41. No meal is complete until you've smeared it through your hair.


What? That's more than forty? Give the kid a break! He's only one and doesn't know how to count yet. Tough crowd...

It's Raining, It's Pouring

I used to really admire my former across-the-street neighbors because every time it rained, they'd have their little boys out playing in it. I always told them how much I loved seeing it because I've known people who find it annoying when their kids get wet/muddy/dirty but isn't that what being a kid's all about? YES! Yes it is. And today I got to put my money where my mouth is.

We're having torrential downpours and have been for the past 24 hours. It's supposed to continue like this for another couple of days and that makes for a lot of time in a concrete palace. So this morning Kristen came over, we went to Coffee Casa for breakfast (neither rain nor snow nor dark of night can keep me from a cappuccino as big as my face) and then came home, put Wyatt in his swimwear and had a big ol' time outside. In the pouring rain. In the puddles past our ankles (or knees, if you're Wyatt). Kristen even ventured into the clogged-drain lake in the sideyard to rescue a big ball that wound up there so Wyatt could play with it. It's safe to say we all got soaked and we all had a great time.

I think some of the neighbors might have thought we were crazy and the Japanese garbage men laughed at us, but Wyatt seemed to think it was one of the greatest things he'd ever done and kept making his way to the deep end of the sidewalk. Totally worth it!

A Three Rainbow Day

Nothing smart about the title; it was just, literally, a three rainbow day today and that's not normal here. I mean, we're no Hawaii where rainbows are a dime a dozen! The first sighting was bright and early this morning and it was huge. It was a full rainbow and seemed close enough that the pot of gold might have been just behind the playground at the end of the street. The second sighting was while I was driving a little later and the last was tonight as the sun set and was against a pink sky backdrop - very cool. I actually took pictures of two of them (that's the kind of dork I am) but am feeling so lazy tonight that I can't be bothered with uploading them. You'll just have to trust me when I tell you they were pretty cool.

We had another non-event day, except for one outing to the squadron. Our friend Paul gets home from the desert tomorrow; he's been gone for 6 months and that's a long time, no matter how you slice it. His wife and two little girls have done great through his deployment but I know they've probably had much harder times than they've ever let on. I'm so excited for their family and imagine none of them are getting much sleep tonight. I think I wrote about his departure back in January; pretty much the entire squadron turned out early on a Saturday morning to send him off. So it's only appropriate that we all gathered today to make signs welcoming him home and since the guys are gone, he's getting an all-female welcome (save a couple of guys who didn't make the Guam trip). I'm sure you're sick of hearing about it, but it's times like this that remind me how lucky we are that this is our military experience. I know it's not this way for everyone and I know we might never have this much of an Air Force 'family' again, but to have had it even once is pretty amazing.

There's something nice about a day that's hemmed by rainbows. I guess it was a very ordinary day, really, but somehow Roy.G.Biv made it more interesting; kind of a reminder that even an ordinary day is a really great thing.

I Just Needed a Little Drama

Well, I paid a visit to the lovely Rumiko-san today so you KNOW there's a story. Why? Because

1. there's always a story when I see Rumiko
2. my hair and I have a long history of strange events
3. I live in Japan, yet still try to get American-style hair
4. I am a glutton for punishment
5. I am not a quick study
6. I have not embraced the "picture is worth a thousand words" approach and instead rely on my vast, articulate vocabulary to help me communicate
7. the squadron hair emergency of 2005 (Leslie, I hope you're laughing right now!) has faded into the deep recesses of my brain and wanted another go at it.

You might remember that the last time I saw Rumiko, I left a little blonder than I intended due to her assumption that lighter would be better for summer. So today, two months post-blonding and still not thrilled with being so blond, I told her "not as light as last time, a few lowlights but not too many." My goal was only to not have such a freaking. big. line. between. light. and. dark. on. my. scalp. Is that really so much to ask? Apparently....yes. Kind of a big request.

Only here's the thing! She gave me the "ahhhh, so, so, so" and led me to believe she totally understood! She suggested a subtle highlight, same color as last time, a little bit of a lowlight to help bring my natural (how did it get so dark?) color through and some caramel - her word, not mine - color blended throughout. Doesn't that sound pretty? Yeah, I thought so, too.

It would seem that Rumiko has been eating some funky caramel. Last time I checked, caramel was closer in color to honey than it is to, oh, let's see.....a magenta crayon? I kid you not, there was a lovely rosy hue to my tresses. Even she noticed and immediately said, "maybe too bright?" to which I replied, "ah, yes. too red." She said, "no problem, I fix." Okay, great. So, she fixed. I sat for 10 more minutes with a few foils in, she washed, conditioned, dried, smoothed and handed me the mirror. Um, not so fixed. Big chunks of funky caramel and hey, look! Some white blond bangs! What the heck? So we go for fix #2. More foils, more sitting, my blood pressure is whatever over whatever would equal high blood pressure because Wyatt is at a friend's house who probably didn't think she was taking my kid for a three hour chunk of her afternoon. One more wash, one more dry, one more smooth and here I am. Decidedly NOT blond anymore. And maybe just a little pink around the edges. On the upside: I don't have that line anymore. It's all just dark. And rosy.

So many things were running through my mind. Things like "it's just hair it's just hair it's just hair it's just yeah but it's my hair and I have to see people like this but breathe because it's just hair" and "those $400 highlights I've read about might really be worth it" and "I wonder if this would help my quest to be on What Not To Wear? I could tell them that living in Japan was murder on my wardrobe and my appearance! I bet Nick Arrojo could fix this" and all the while I was trying to keep a pleasant expression on my face because Rumiko is just so nice. Which is why, yes, I will most likely be returning to her. Besides, we ran out of time for a cut today (and, quite frankly, I wasn't sure my heart could take the pressure) so I'll have to go back sooner than later. And I also wondered if I was preying on her Japanese sensibilities - you know, the part where they are so prideful that they never want to show any sort of inability - because I really can't imagine telling an American stylist not once, but twice, that what they just did to my hair is not good.

And obviously the old adage, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" applies here. I mean, I'm not young. I've been coloring my hair for many moons and I need to take some responsibility in the process. I guess I need to start a file of hairstyles and colors I like, even though I don't think I'll ever really abandon the dream of having a stylist who knows my hair so well that s/he gives me the perfect cut and color every time. Does that actually exist? (That's a rhetorical question, by the way. If you have a stylist who fulfills that dream for you, I don't actually want to hear about it because I'm pretty sure that you don't live where I do and therefore it will just frustrate me more. Unless you live in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia, then I'm all ears because THAT is something to look forward to!)

But then I think back on all my favorite hair "disasters" and honestly, they make me laugh. And there have been a lot of them. Most of them I've recognized when they happened, but there have been a few that only became clear in photographic retrospect, some "what was I thinking?" looks. So who knows...maybe my judgment is clouded and Rumiko-san really is that hairdresser who knows me better than I know myself. And maybe pink hair is all the rage and I'm just not cool enough to know. I guess I missed my chance!

Daily Dose

Wyatt is constant entertainment these days. We had a family first Friday last night at the small bowling alley and he had a great time running around with wild abandon and pointing out all the balls - a dah! a dah! - to anyone who would listen. He was crazy, but fun. Besides, with all that chasing I felt no guilt about having a piece of cake with lots of frosting!

I thought he looked especially cute this morning in his new jammies, so we had a little photo shoot (why is it that we always do these things in the kitchen?); I hope you enjoy a little Wyatt love!

Observations - Careful! Soapbox Ahead.

First observation: ***begin soapbox rant *** Tara & I went to lunch yesterday and as we walked out, I noticed a woman lighting her cigarette. The irritating part was that her little girl was standing right next to her; I really can't stand it when people make those kinds of choices for their kids. But then I had to do a doubletake when I also realized she was pregnant. Come on! How can anyone feel like it's okay to continue smoking while they're pregnant?! If I could've thought of one good zinger, I absolutely would've said something. Sadly, my words failed me and we just kept walking. I'm sure all the thoughts I was having were things she's heard before but I just wanted to tell her how neglectful and irresponsible it is. I think she already knew, though, considering she hid her cigarette as we walked by. But don't worry, by the time I had Wyatt buckled in and we were pulling out of the lot, she was walking to her car with one hand clasped around her little girl's hand and the other holding a bag - cigarette dangling from her lips. CLASSY!

There are so many rules on base that don't exist in the "civilian" world - people get arrested for leaving their kids in the car while they drop off mail or return a movie and their husband's boss is notified, there are strict guidelines for leaving kids home alone and precise rules for how old a babysitter has to be - yet this woman was standing on a marine base, just smokin' away while her two children suffered for it. If I could've called the MP's, I would've. If you think that's taking things too far, I think you're wrong.

***end soapbox rant***

Next observation: I might be a supermom! Just kidding, but when there's no one else here, I can tell myself all kinds of positive things! So why am I so great (as if you must ask)? Because I snuck a V8 into my kid's dinner!!! And in case you can't tell from the excessive use of exclamation points, this is a big deal. We have this issue that Wyatt is NOT into vegetables. He used to be mediocre with them but now he's flat-out anti-veggie. It's fairly frustrating because, hey, we all want the best for our kids and he will not even take his no-thank-you helpings. He will, however, squish each pea individually with his index finger and/or feed all vegetables to Millie. Anyway, I figure if a V8 has my daily allotment of all the good stuff, then surely it will cover him, too. He didn't fall for it the first time when I put it in his sippy cup (I know, it was a longshot, but I thought it was worth a try), but tonight he TOTALLY fell for it when I strained the sauce off his ravioli and replaced it with a V8 - low sodium, of course. He liked it so much that he ate it like soup! So guess what? Tomorrow's lunch might just be grilled cheese and "tomato soup". I see all kinds of potential with this sneaky food stuff!

Next observation: for the last 13 months, I've been trying to figure out how to work running into my daily routine with child. I have the super-duper running stroller (purchased in my I-had-to-quit-training-for-a-marathon-only-six-weeks-before-the-race funk when I was sure, just SURE, that I'd be one of those moms who had her stuff together), and for 13 months I've been unable to figure it out. Guess what? I just need to suck it up and start running again. We walked this morning with Kristen & Isaac but after we split ways, I ran. And it felt good. Really, really GOOD. Yes, I was disgustingly sweaty; yes, I was winded after the first block and no, I'm not going to be race-ready anytime soon, but I need to just quit my whining and get back in the saddle, er, dri-fit running gear and whip myself back into shape. How about if you help me stick to it? You know, randomly ask me how my running's going....guilt is powerful!

Last observation (really more of an admission): please reference the comment above where I mention moms who have their stuff together. While I know many of those ladies, I am not one of them. I have been working at being 'that mom' for 13 months and will continue to strive for that elusive prize, but I'm happier when I admit that I am just not there and might never be. Did you hear that? I might never have it all together! But you know what? I'm trying. I love my kid with every fiber of my being even when he's cranky, won't nap, is pulling my hair or hitting my face as I lean in for a kiss; I think he's perfect even though he's never uttered the word "mama" and I know that he's an amazing gift in my life even when I miss "the old days" of self-centeredness and I think that counts for something. So small victories (I remembered to take a bib to lunch yesterday! I snuck V8 into his diet!) will be celebrated around here. And to all my friends out there who are moms: I totally think you're the ones who have it all together. Just thought you might want to know.

my