Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Random Realities

1. I might be so very over this cruddy weather that I might have "upholstered" the walls of our unfinished basement. I can't do gray cement downstairs when it looks like gray cement in the sky. So, you might want sunglasses if I invite you into my green basement. For those of you who knew my Okinawa living room, it's baaaaack. Oh, and the kids find it amusing. Jeff's just along for the ride.

2. I have declared a moratorium on small, junky, never-used toys. There's going to be a mother of a garage sale at some point, or maybe just a really cathartic run to the Salvation Army drop-off.

3. Is it any wonder I'm pulling my hair out with the arguments? The children are in their respective rooms - asleep - and Natalie is yelling, "My wawa! No MY wawa!" GO TO SLEEP, CHILD.

4. After two months of denying the truth, I finally admitted that the plants who froze in our moving truck are not going to miraculously reincarnate. They've met their fate with the trash and have been replaced by living beings from my local WalMart.

5. I still don't like WalMart, but with the closest Target being a highway drive away (only 15 minutes, but still…) I find myself there far too often. I will admit, they have more goods worthy of my attention than I might have previously believed but they still have slow, poke-my-eyes-out-because-I'm-still-waiting-in-line customer service. What gives?

6. I put a fair amount of effort into fixing a wide variety of (mostly) healthy dinners for my family. I subscribe to a recipe service which I really enjoy and it has caused us to try innumerable new things. Yet most nights I find at least one small person at the table either literally or figuratively throwing said dinner back at me. Tonight, I had no fight in me. We had waffles and omelets for dinner. I sliced strawberries and made homemade whipped cream to top the waffles and guess what? They ate every last bite. Well, Wyatt didn't want any eggs, so he just stuck with the carbs. And the fat. That's right, America, I served strawberry shortcake for dinner and it was a success! Go figure.

7. We have a lightbulb out in a fixture in the basement. There is one true ceiling fixture with four halogen-ish bulbs in it and then there are two other single, basic bulbs in sockets. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how to get that little halogen dude out. I even let Jeff try to no avail. So I emailed my landlord and asked if there was a trick. His reply? He wanted to know if it was one of the single bulbs I was talking about. I guess I know what he really thinks of me now, don't I? Or maybe I have a little insight as to his wife's handy-woman skills?

8. Jeff and some of his workmates (schoolmates? Army pals?) were comparing notes on the APFRI assessments - you know, the one that told me I'm not a fit fitty yet - and he told them about me being called a fit fatty. So now this guy who Jeff finds so entertaining is apparently referring to me as Fit Fat. Like it's my name. I'm just really looking forward to meeting him on Saturday…don't you wonder what he envisions me to be?

9. There's a house on our route to Wyatt's school that is decked out in all kinds of Jayhawk flair - flags, statues, painted signs, yard art, whirlygigs, etc. - and my kids wait every day to drive past it. No kidding, Natalie starts talking about it almost before we leave the neighborhood (she has to talk about the cows we pass first, but then as soon as we establish that yes, the cows will be there, she starts talking about the Yay-You house). I feel like I should write the owners a thank you note since they are a bright spot in our day, three times a week and are also greatly contributing to my kids' brainwashing school spirit. Would that be weird?

10. Every time we pass Dillons (which is a lot), Nataile starts shouting (because it's her only volume) "row up! row up!" Now, I think she's talking about buying fruit roll-ups but it's a distinct possibility she's reminding me that's where she had her throw up incident. My life? It's awesome.


Mark Henderson said...

How was Chuck-E?

Leslie said...


Thanks for starting my day off with laughter.

Darling's said...

Oh Steph, no matter where you go, you live an entertaining life!! I am right there with ya about dinners! The other night we had choc. chip pancakes with strawberries and bananas!! I hope the sun starts shining for you guys soon!

Steph said...

I can relate on so many levels. I just had the argument (apparently between myself and the walls as I was kind of yelling into the air at no one particular person while slamming things from the stove to the counter to the sink) that I slave over what new things to cook for dinner, research recipes, shop, prep, cook, serve -- only to be met with unanimous "Ugh, that?? That's gross!" all because I'd feel guilty just feeding them the cheese sandwich that I felt like giving them, when in reality they would have rejoiced at the gesture. Can you tell this is a really sore subject in our house?