Tuesday, April 27, 2010

That Thing in the Soul

Emily Dickenson told us that hope is the thing with feathers, perched in the soul. I believe her and lately, here's what I hope (in no particular order):

1. That my voice isn't lost. Not my speaking voice, but my writing voice. I look back at the 'good ol' days' on this blog and I think I used to be more interesting. Like maybe a lot more interesting. And for a long time I've blamed it on foreign country vs. USA (of course foreign = more interesting) but really? I'm just not that interesting anymore because I've lost my voice. I'm hoping I find it again.

2. I hope people like that voice. I censor myself often on here as though I'm some blogger with lots of readers. The reality is that I'm a blogger with a handful of lurkers and my family actually admitting they stop by (and a few true friends). So sorry in advance if my voice is offensive to you. Maybe you could comment and let me know (wink, wink).

3. I hope that Wyatt and Natalie always seek each other with happy hearts like they do now. They love seeing each other first thing in the morning and again after nap and it warms my heart.

4. I hope their foundation of love for each other is strong enough to withstand the many small injustices they lobby at each other every day. It's usually Wyatt doing something to Natalie but the glimmers of Nat holding her own are shining through more often.

5. I hope Natalie is as tough as I think she is.

6. I hope Wyatt's suggestion that I leave on Saturday morning and not come back until after naptime springs from his desire to have some Daddy time and not just because he's tired of looking at me.

7. I hope I can get my running schedule figured out because I signed up for a half-marathon today.

8. I hope I can figure out childcare for that race because my husband won't be here and there's no way I'm driving 45 minutes the morning of the race to make a 7am start. I'm motivated but I'm not that motivated.

9. I hope that our house rents quickly and that the rent covers our mortgage. And yes, I'm beginning the worry a tad prematurely on this one but I know the time will go quickly so I figure it can't hurt.

10. I hope that at some point in my life I'm able to pick a paint color with fewer than a hundred paint chips and that I actually get the color right on the first go.

11. I hope that Natalie and Wyatt always find me to be a comfort.

12. I hope we always delight in each other's presence the way we do first thing in the morning. I mean, seriously, my kids are perfect in that first minute of every day.

13. I hope that when my kids look back on their childhoods, they remember more of those first-thing-in-the-morning moments than the dinner-bath-bed-chaos moments.

14. I hope that when Wyatt sings "God Bless the USA" at school, he doesn't follow it up with a quick, "but not Jesus, only God" like he did for me today in the car.

15. I hope Wyatt can earn money for either his dramatic talents or his ability to make up words because both are in large supply and him earning money for them someday would make all of this worthwhile.

16. I hope Jillian can shred me in 30 days.

17. I hope Wyatt's swimming skills grow exponentially this summer.

18. I hope we don't have any more babies since we've officially given away all the baby gear, clothes and maternity wear.

19. I hope that someday my abilities match my mind's eye when it comes to all things artistic/creative.

20. I hope no one is judging me for not mentioning slightly more cerebral things.

21. I hope Natalie forgives me for failing to document the minutiae of her daily life like I did Wyatt's.

22. I hope I forgive myself for failing to record her every move. Future self, just know that she is stinking cute and makes you laugh all the time.

23. I hope Wyatt always likes to cook as much as he does now.

24. I hope Natalie either learns to curb her appetite or is blessed with the Rock metabolism.

25. I hope I can figure out how to make pizza better than I did last night. Same for tonight's fries.

26. I hope that I get to sleep through the night for a whole, I don' know, week? before I turn 35. It's wearing me out.

27. I hope I get a little smarter and go to bed before 10:30 tonight. It's not looking good.

28. I hope I haven't just lost my remaining five readers.


Susan said...

1. You haven't.
2. We do.
3. I predict there will be phases, but all in all, they will.
5. I'm betting she is.
6. Don't question. Just go!!!
7 & 8. Let's talk about when that race is? Is this a place where we can kill two birds with one trip?
11. I predice ther will be phases, but all in all, they will.
13. They will.
14. He's a wild card.
16. She can. Level 2 leaves me in tears.
18. You may have just jinxed yourself. I keep getting rid of...nothing, so you can have ours.
20. I'm certainly not!
24. She'll be fine!
26. Good luck with that. I got two nights in a row last week. It was great.
27. You too?
28. Can't shake me.

SStites said...

Well, you sure haven't lost me! I check your blog every night before I go to bed. It's not so bad living so far apart when I can see pictures and read about all of the cute things the kids do. Your blog, Susan's and the one written by Ann's best friend who now has a 1 1/2 year old are my "bedtime stories" and always leave me smiling! Hugs to all of you!

The Blake Family said...

Still reading! And, for the record, your "voice" is still very interesting and fun to read!

Adrienne said...

Amen...I love you and always will! I only wish I had the time to make such a list, or quite frankly, even respond like Susan did. Someone is screaming...must go!

Heather and Scott said...

Still reading :) I don't read as often as I once did (or post myself very often)...but I still come on and read! So keep writing :)

Steph said...

And make that SIX readers (and six comments - woot woot!) Love your list. Let me know how that 30-day shred goes. I did Day One. Like, four months ago.

Erin Stoner said...

I will have to admit I don't read often, but I always go back to catch up with what I missed! It's great to hear what's going on with you all when you are far away! You have a great blog and it always makes me laugh ;)