Through the marvels* of Facebook, I've recently learned that someone with whom I was very good friends in high school is now living a very urban, successful life. As in, NYC and recently touted as one of the top 40 under 40 in her field. And she's in Geneva for work right now. Hmmm. It helped none whatsoever that I discovered this while Wyatt was tantruming (again) yesterday. He's been having some serious fits and we're doing our best to figure them out and work through them but it's exhausting, both physically and emotionally. So right then, Geneva, New York and creating marketing campaigns for internationally powerful consumer companies sounded very appealing. I might have mentioned all of that in a phonecall to my sweet husband who (appropriately) laughed at me and said, "huh. That's pretty cool." I might have begged him to get another international assignment and said that I needed to start dreaming bigger for myself. And then I went to put Natalie down for a nap.
So as I was rocking my baby, listening to the "mommmmmmmeeeeeeee" wails from nearby, I thought, what would I rather be doing? To what should I be aspiring? What did I used to think I wanted to do with my life? And then it hit me like a ton of bricks: I used to think I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom! So I'm attempting to embrace the crazy a little more. These children, these little people, they will grow up too fast. And they think I'm great (not guessing. Wyatt informed me (post second tantrum last night) that I'm his best friend. I cried.) so that's got to be better than a free trip in business class to Europe, right? None of this means I'm not going to gripe about the plight of a non-paycheck-earning mom, but it's a good resolution for my mental health. And it doesn't mean that I'm not going to keep looking for more ways to feel fulfilled, but it's just... This is what I'm doing and if I waste my days looking for something better, then I might miss the subtle greatness of my life.
*Facebook is sucking me in, so slowly I almost didn't notice it happening. I'm fighting valiantly, but I think FB is winning.
Update: said international traveler is now in Istanbul. Not helping my envy issues. Need an interesting vacation posthaste and to stop reading FB.
5 comments:
oh yes. yes. yes. yes. This is taken RIGHT out of my head. All I ever wanted to be was a stay at home mom and now? Well, now I wonder why I didn't go to law school or why I'm not a freelance photographer or opera star. I guess like everything, it ain't all its cracked up to be....but neither are those other professions!
I've actually decided I still want to be a SAHM, I just want one day a week off. Totally off. Like someone comes and takes my children as soon as they wake up and brings them back the next morning after they wake up. That'd be perfect.
Hey Girl...yes we all have those days....I am currently listening to Bryce talk to his lion instead of falling asleep. Yes FB sucks at sucking you in....I try not to turn on the computer until late in the day :) Also helps that my very vocal and on the move child won't allow the laptop to sit on the coffee table anymore :) Hey I have a great idea for your vacation plan! COLUMBUS MS :) on your way to Jeffs parents or back....As of now Brian's deployment is off....I should be happy but at the same time I would really like to just get it over with if it really has to happen. So either way we should be here in Oct if your missing a little sounthern and real sweat tea.
This is so me! I'm glad I'm not the only one...does your husband often remind you..."you are the one who wanted to do this!" Thanks for the reminder of why I do!
Yes...I've been there many times!! I was cleaning a closet a few months ago and found my old business cards...you know, with my degree and credentials following my name. I thought, "well, I was once a professional...now I"m a "professional mom!" However, if given the choice, I don't want to go back into the "working outside of the home" world!! At the end of the day, like you, I love my "job!"
Steph, I found this blog post to be refreshing. I, too, have stumbled into this way of thinking. Not necessarily because I have friends living a glamourous corporate life, but because I used to think that was truly what I wanted. And, don't get me wrong, I do still want it. But to be a mom? What better job can there be? Thanks for the encouraging words and the reminder to constantly reset my priorities in the right way!
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